Community Profiles: Doris Huxtable: A kind and gentle woman
by Janine Giordano |
A kind and gentle woman with a kind and gentle life. Surrounded by
kind and gentle family members and now being cared for by kind and
gentle people.
Such is the life of Doris Huxtable, whose strengths and convictions
surface just beneath her softly spoken words. Born and raised in
Millers Mills, this 87 year old great grandmother of eight and
grandmother of four has spent her life growing up and growing old in
the same community, establishing roots and heritage for generations to
come.
“I miss the country,” she said, during an interview from her room at
the Mohawk Valley Nursing Home, in Ilion, “but I know at 87 going on 88
that this is the place for an old lady.”
She nodded slowly, then added, “they’ve got activities every day
here. Tonight’s movie is ‘On Golden Pond.’ I’ve never seen that one.”
Maybe she never saw that one because she was always so busy doing
instead of watching. When not taking care of her two children, or
grandchildren, she stayed involved in the community as town historian
and through the annual Ice Harvest, the Daughters of the American
Revolution, the Red Hat Ladies Society, the Herkimer County Farm
Bureau, the Grange and other assorted community projects.
All of this she managed around a full time position with the
Herkimer County Department of Social Security, from which she retired
after 20 years of service.
Huxtable is a doer, even today, approximately a year after suffering
two strokes and a heart attack, her need to do is as strong as ever.
“It’s frustrating to feel so good, but not be able to do anything
but sit here,” she said, her voice strong. “But I’ve resigned myself to
do what I have to do at my age. I must be in a nursing home, in a place
where people can take care of me.”
And take care of her, they do. “They are so kind and so gentle here.
They take wonderful care of me. There’s a hair dresser, they do your
laundry. There’s activities, and the food is good – that’s important to
old people,” she said, humor in her voice, her eyes and her smile.
While growing old has brought changes, Huxtable has worked hard to
adapt to and overcome, it has also brought many rewards, first and
foremost her marriage of 50 years to her husband Henry, who passed away
in 1988. “He was a good-looking man and very smart. He was supervisor
(of the town of Columbia) for 18 years, you know,” she said.
Together they had two children, a daughter, Carol, and a son, Henry,
who went on to carry out his father’s tradition of farming and has
passed the love of the land on down through his children.
Over the years she made many friends, and joked about her times with
the Red Hat Ladies, the Millers Mills Colonial Ladies. “We do nothing
but eat lunch and talk. We don’t do projects and I don’t think they
ever intend to. We get dressed up in red hats and purple dresses and we
have a lot of fun,” she said, laughing softly.
Life was not all frivolity for Huxtable, who as a Granger for 64 years “tried to help solve the problems the farmers had.”
In her spare time, she developed a keen eye for photography. “I took
hundreds of photographs,” she said, “and my grandson is keeping them
for me. Any part of the town – I took (pictures of) it.”
Somewhere along the line Huxtable discovered her love of history,
maybe in the one room school house in Millers Mills she shared with 18
other students until eventually graduating and moving on to Mount
Markham High School. Or maybe it was through her father, Frank
O’Rourke, “he also loved history and always took (me) places regarding
history.”
Her love of history was shared as a member of the DAR, thanks to the
service her ancestor Fredrick Cristman provided during the
Revolutionary War. “From the way I understand it, he’d go off to war,
come home and do chores and work, then go off and fight some more, then
come home and do more chores,” she said. “He was a private, my
grandmother’s cousin.”
Now her daughter and grandchildren are members of the DAR, and as
soon as the papers get in order, more of her offspring will be joining.
“It’s a great organization. It makes you remember and think about
history a lot,” she added.
Remembering is what she does a lot of lately. A wall of photographs
adorns her room. A wall of family and friends, sketches by friends,
memories, and things sent in to her by friends and family. A lavender
prayer shawl, “Bernie Weiss gave me that,” is folded neatly over her
brown easy chair. She falls to sleep at night blanketed by a hand
crafted pastel hued quilt made by her friend Bonnie King that covers
her bed.
She talked about her family members, each one of them, their
accomplishments, their goals, and she mentioned her great grandson,
Colton, who is appearing in this month’s performance of “The Boyfriend”
at Mount Markham High School. “I used to be in all the plays,” she
said, again remembering.
When asked what life lesson she has learned through the years, she
sat quietly for a moment, remembering some more. Finally, thoughtfully,
and with the same conviction she expressed throughout the afternoon,
she said softly, “to be a kind and gentle person, with my children, in
life.”
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