ILION – Each year, the mediation community devotes the month of October to increasing awareness of mediation as the process to resolve disputes. When compared to litigation, mediation has proven to be much less costly and less traumatic. Mediation is becoming very popular in upstate New York, as well as throughout the United States. It’s being used as an alternative form of dispute resolution in many local school districts, town and village courts, and in family court. “Considering how many people in the valley are already using mediation to help resolve their disputes, I was surprised to learn that a lot of people have never used it,” said Melissa Tyrrell, community coordinator of the CDRC, after holding an information session at a local farm show. While New York is lagging behind many states in the use of mediation, New York Chief Justice Judith Kaye has urged “the statewide integration of alternative resolution methods, in particular mediation, of parenting disputes.” This recommendation was drawn from the Matrimonial Commission’s study looking for ways to help those 55,000 couples and families minimize the cost and stress of family breakdowns. “While the issues are the same for every family – ‘where are our children going to live? What will be the co-parenting plan?’ – Every family has different needs and ways to meet those needs,” said Lynne Wiliczka, Family Court mediation coordinator. “That’s why mediation is so helpful. It offers a venue for families that want to sit down and devise their own game plan for their family.” Mediation is a confidential, self-empowering voluntary process facilitated by a neutral third party to help parties create custom-designed solutions to disputes. “Nobody wants to be told what to do, especially when it comes to matters that are very personal or that they hold close to their heart,” said Michael Kapala, program director of the Dispute Resolution Center. “That is where mediation comes in.” The process of mediation is unique in that there are no losers; instead, the mediator assists the parties in reaching a compromise that is acceptable to all. The key to why the mediation process works is that the parties are communicating and making their own decisions. Working through mediation rather than relying on a court to make a decision is more likely to satisfy everyone concerned. Courts are set up to take in the facts allowing judges to render decisions based on the law. The mediator, unlike a judge or an arbitrator, does not issue a final decision concerning the case. There is a settlement only if all parties agree. Mediated agreements have shown to be quite durable. The reason is simple: the parties themselves had say in who was going to do what, where they were going to do it, and how they were going to do it. “The process and the people involved are amazing,” said Kapala. “I’ve seen people that have come in who couldn’t look each other in the eye and after a few hours of hard work, were able to work it out and ended up talking and laughing in the parking lot long after the mediators had gone home. Sometimes it’s not so much about the barking dog that upset the neighbor, it’s more about the fact that they weren’t invited to the neighborhood party five years back.” Another advantage to the process is that if you are unable to work it out through mediation, you never forego your right to go to court. For more information on the CDRC, visit www.DisputeResolutionCenterOfHC.org or call 315-894-9917. The CDRC is a program of Catholic Charities of Herkimer County and a program of the NYS Unified Court System.
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