“Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself,” said the poet,
Kahlil Gibran, who also wrote “...love is sufficient unto love...”
In an era when getting a divorce is as easy as flipping open the
Yellow Pages, here in Richfield Springs alone, at least three couples
have found the secret of a successful marriage. However, when asked to
share their formula for a happy, long term union, they each looked at
their partners and laughed, at a loss for answers.
The Osterhoudts will celebrate 64 years of marital bliss in August.
Ask anyone who knows them and they will attest to the use of that term,
“marital bliss.”
“I don’t think we’ve really ever had an argument,” said Ralph
Osterhoudt, of the woman he married back in 1941. Not one argument, not
even in the beginning of their relationship, when he came home on a 15
day furlough during World War II and learned he was getting married –
the following weekend.
“He came home and when he asked if we were going to get married, I
told him yes, next weekend or it’s off,” said Bessie Osterhoudt, love
and laughter lighting her eyes as she looked at her husband sitting
across the living room. “I had bought the invitations and sent them out
and everything.”
“I called up my commander in Ohio and said I needed another 15 days
off because I was getting married. He gave it to me,” he said, with a
shrug.
That was three years after they first met at the roller-skating
rink, just days before he was shipped off for active duty in the Air
Corps, a division of the Army and Air Force. She had no idea as he
chased her around on their roller skates that he was “the one,” she
said.
The two spend each day together, “taking care of one another. I take
care of her, she takes care of me,” he said, sitting in the living room
of the house they raised their family in throughout the last 50 years.
Lately, her days are filled with making wedding favors, 250 of them
by June, for her grandson, Randy Micensik, and his bride to be, Jessica
Sullivan. “She’s a wonderful little girl. They’re going to be great
together,” she said.
Her husband stays busy going through old journals and mementos he kept over the years, and reminiscing about his war days.
Their key to success is to just “be happy.” They get along. They
don’t argue. “Life is pretty enjoyable. We don’t get into too many
arguments,” he said. “We never really had any rough times.”
Over the years they had four children, 12 grandchildren and five
great-grandchildren. “We try to be an inspiration for our family,” she
said. “You just have to be happy.”
“And keep your nose clean,” he said, chuckling.
Laughter seems to be the key in strong marriages, as Hany and Jill
Ghaleb displayed recently. They do everything together, said Hany, a
dentist in Richfield Springs, as evidenced by their conversation during
which they repeatedly responded at the same time, with similar
comments. “We’re best friends,” he said, grinning.
“I was going to say that,” his wife of 16 years said, laughing.
For the last 25 years, Vince and Marie Guerra have been celebrating
wedding anniversaries. Their secret, she said, is “sharing common
interests. We do things together, but we also have our own separate
interests. I like sewing, he likes car shows. So I’ll go to car shows
with him.”
Her husband agreed, then added, “It’s all about letting each other
know what is supposed to be done, then getting it done. It’s standing
your ground, but knowing when to compromise.”
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